Catch 22...

So, this is the 22nd entry into the bloggesphere. How many people have caught the random thoughts of a complex mind? Quite a lot I think, bearing in mind how many people have told me they're reading and enjoying my sad demise! You sick puppies, do you enjoy catching a rare insight into my twisted soul? Catch 22, see what I did there?

7pm and I've gotta face the music now. Had a great day with great people, saw some shocking refereeing rob my beloved Liverpool of 3 points (again), but now Fi's just dropping her brother and friend/sister-in-law/my friend at the station and we'll be hoe alone for the first time today. I'm gonna pack, but only jim jams, loose t-shirts and maybe some espadrilles. Actually, I lie, even the bloody hospital is a fashion parade for me, I can't help it! I'm stacking my bag full of Calvin Klein and Maharishi and I'm throwing in a little Chanel to stave off any dodgy smells. 

My mouth is on the mend, not 100%, but it's getting better so hopefully will be fine by the time I get to hospital tomorrow. It's finally happening, 8 months after my first visit to discuss it with Mr. K and countless talking and thinking and freaking and pondering. Do I really need to do this? In short, no I don't, it's not a case of life or death. But yes, I do need to do this. I have to move forward, improve my quality of life, try to shake the demons that still haunt me over 9 years later. I know that I'm right in the middle of one of the few true 'Moments in Time' that we experience in our lives. New head, new career, new horizons and there's more that I'm sure will be revealed that will also shape my future. It's these times, often that we don't have the luxury of realising whilst enduring or enjoying them, that make us who we are, what we'll be, who we have the potential to become. I know this is my time, I know from this new dawn there will be great opportunity and I know I have to take it on with passion and energy and embrace the change, learn from it and become a brighter star. I'm frightened of not fulfiling my ambitions and realising my potential, but I'm so lucky so be surrounded by love, support and motivtion that I know I'll do you proud. I won't waste the next phase of living. 

Moral and scientific thinking together do not suffice to understand human existence. Experience is our true essence and as such we must use our unique opportunies to our collective advantage. This is how I have to live to this 'Moment in Time' in order to become who I want to be. I can't do this alone though, this much I know. I need the support and love and compasison of my nearest and dearest and the motivation derived from my obstacles and my challengers. We are one, we must become a movement of positive force because together we are invincible.

Enough philosophising, but I feel so much stronger because of the movement of positivity I've experienced in the past couple of weeks. I'm so proud to have people around me who genuinley want me to do well and therefore are helping to create that very reality. 

One love

Jez

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